Monday, January 18, 2010

Tough Choices...

There are times you look back on your life an reflect on the steps you have taken, the roads traveled and the decisions made. Ironically, my post is not related to the New Year of the New Decade. Although I am grateful for 2009 being over, and look forward to the new challenges and opportunities of the upcoming year, my reflections are not something that happens at the beginning of a new year. I am one that often looks back while looking ahead, as I am determined to not make the same mistakes twice... just as I am determined to continue to be a better husband, father and friend.

In that vain, I thought I would take a moment to give some perspective to trying to raise a daughter as divorced Dad. My daughter is 12, a great kid and I adore her. Always have... When she was 5, I made a decision to leave her mother and get a divorce. The marriage was broke, and I had stayed in it longer that I should of because I knew as a father, my leaving meant that my time with her would go from every night to every other weekend. Through counseling, much soul searching and the prayers and help of family and friends, I made the choice and I am glad I did. I have been blessed to now be married to a lovely woman who is an incredible person who I truly enjoy being with. My wife and I have a great respect for each other and constantly work on our relationship as well as parenting.

Where I struggle is watching my daughter grow and morph into a young woman... and as I watch her struggles in life, I often beat myself up thinking her life would probably have been so much easier had I not made the decisions I did. On the flip side, what would I have taught her about relationships, love, marriage and respect had I stayed? I dwell on these thoughts as I strive to set examples on what a relationship should be like and how a married couple should be. I can only pray that her life is filled with love and happiness and she won't have to deal with the heartbreak I have had to. As a father, it is my nature to want to protect my little girl and be there for her... but I also know, just as that day I choose to leave, I have to let her live her life, pray she makes wise decisions, and pick her up and support her when she doesn't.

For anyone that has gone through a divorce, I am sure you can relate. My best advice is to love your kids and put them first.... Regardless of how things work with the ex-spouse. Never put the kids in the middle, never leave them out and never stop being a role model and parent. As my daughter is with me, they are always watching to see how you react, how you live and how you love.


4 comments:

Heather said...

I can't imagine how hard those decisions are to make for yourself and your child. Hopefully I won't ever have to relate. I do think that most of us just do the best we can and hope for the best.

Heather T said...

It is very difficult to resolve as a divorced parent that the best choice for our life my leave our child with the raw end of the stick. For me, I feel like no end of the tale of my oldest daughter's father and I would have been what I thought was best for her. Looking back, I feel like she was damned from the get-go.

It's a process, I think. Both for the parent who is divorced and for the kid. Do you agree?

Tim said...

I do agree... and I think you just do your best and give them love, support and guidance. But it is a natural struggle as a parent.

Jules said...

As a product of divorce, the good news is that we turn out just fine :) Is it always easy, no, but life isn't easy in any circumstances - it isn't supposed to be. I was loved by both my parents, they never put us in the middle, they role modeled friendship, forgiveness, and love every day of their married and divorced lives - sometimes the divorce allows every one to be their best selves.