I’m an interferer.
It’s true. I jump in the middle of the boys’ arguments way, way, way too fast. I forget that Owen can and does instigate and therefore, should take the consequence from his brother, not in harm’s way of course, but that natural shunning thing that teaches the lesson better than I could ever imagine anyway. This started me down memory lane in which many of the most impacting lessons…I didn’t learn from my parents.
Good parents have to let the lessons come as they may.
And pick up the pieces afterward.
It is so hard for me to listen to the fighting, the idle threats, the mean words, the pushes, the shoves, the tattles, the yells. It is so hard for me to not mama bear in, pick them both up by the neck and give them a little shake. It is so hard for me to let them learn on their own! ARRRRRGGGGUUUUUUUHHHHHH I LIKE PEACE!
Peace comes in small doses with 6 and 3. When it does come, it is delightful. Like the time last week at the dinner table when Randy motioned to me, “do you hear that?” and it was silence. Like the time at Target when Drew grabbed Owen’s hand to cross the street and Owen let him. Like the morning after Owen threw up all night and Drew asked how he was and gave him a hug….a real one, not one demanded by his bear mama. Like right now where their pure, unadulterated laughter floats up from the basement.
Come what may.
It is my new mantra.
It is the idea for 2010.
Come what may, and let it be.
Not every aspect of life needs to be forced, planned, and responded to by me. Sometimes, many times, I need to sit back and let it come.