Monday, November 15, 2010

Skilled

My parenting skills ebb and flow, like much of the things in my life. In one week I might fluctuate every other day between calm, in-charge Mommy and screaming, irrational Mommy. Other weeks I am on top of my game and confident. The next I will be nutty all week. Then there are days that throw it all in the mix.


My kids have to be confused by it all. Heck, I'M confused by it all. Consistency is key in discipline, relationships, maybe even in life. I'm reading and re-reading Love and Logic, (okay so I've never read the original...yet but I'm reading the early years and what to say when kids leave you speechless). The techniques work wonders for my kids if I remember to employ them.

When my kids fight (and they have been fighting often lately) in the car I've started telling them they'll need to pay me to listen to it and start naming ways they can pay me. If they argue at home, I simply leave whatever room they are arguing in. It's amazing how quickly the dispute is resolved without mom observing.

Why don't I use this stuff all the time? I suppose I need to practice more. Maybe by the time they have their own kids I'll have it down...but I doubt it.

Maybe I need one of those shock collars that some people use to prevent their dogs from barking. It could give me a jolt to remind me that yelling at my kids never works as well as being calm and confident.

3 comments:

Hip Mom's Guide said...

Heather, this made me laugh - not because it's funny that you're struggling with this, but because I bet we all see ourselves in your words. Parenting is hard. Before kids, we had on & off days, and--amazingly--that still happens! What's scary to me is that all of my kids are now at an age where they'll REMEMBER my off days. But our moms had them, too, right? And we look back with fondness-let's hope for the same!

Jenny said...

I just finished a parenting class based on Love and Logic with some other theories thrown in for good measure. It was awesome, and helpful. I either learned something good I can use, or I feel better about (most) of what I'm already doing. :)

Lisa said...

I find comfort in hearing that I am not alone!! Somedays it feels like almost an out-of-body experience when I have been depleted of patience and irrationally yelling at my kids for something...when, in the midst of yelling, my own voice in my head is saying, "Why are you so upset about this? You're being ridiculous." There are definitely days where I go to bed at night thinking I had been a great parent today and others where I go to bed thinking all I did was yell and complain and it will somehow forever affect my children.