As the mom of twins and as the mom of two sets of twins, I am fascinated with the twin bond. Their unique closeness is outstanding, something to be celebrated. While each one of my children (just like singletons) is unique and their own person, they are also part of a special entity at such an early age.
I never refer to them as "the twins" and while they share a birthday celebration they get their own cake and are never given one gift to share. They have always shared a room and when they say, "Mom, we want our own room" they will get one. I will keep them in the same classroom until they tell me otherwise or it becomes detrimental to their learning. My older kids rarely choose to go somewhere without the other, which I find endearing. When they are away alone they are always thinking/talking about the other.
It surprises me when we constantly have people telling us "they should be separated more" "they should be in different classes" "they should have separate rooms" After my initail shock, I wonder why? why does it bother them so much? How are they a twin expert? While these are the responses I should give, I usually either give a half smile and walk away or say "when you have twins, you can separate them as you'd like"
How would you handle this situation?